Growing up, I’ve received notions and remarks from others that have, at some times, struck me much to a surprise. While signing onto social media or entering social events, the comment “I wish I was you,” or “I wish I was like you” always leaves me taken aback some. This comment is one which makes me feel awfully appreciative and stunned, yet awhile ago, I began to think deeper into the aspect of this comment.
Why were others saying this, and what did I have in me to lead them to express this feeling?
With the social media comments, I never knew how to reply. Me? I would think. I’ve always tried to keep my head on my shoulders enough to accept these compliments and understand my worth, but the day I finally understood comments like this one was so rewarding.
There was one notion I truly understood at a very young age. In first grade, I remember telling my mom how much I wanted Vans to pair with my Adidas sweatpants, completely contrasting to the entire rest of my grades chosen outfits. I remember, growing up, her understanding of my drive for individuality, and how she would always try to give in to my drive to be unique. After purchasing the sweatpants for me, I wonder if she understood this would be a continuous pattern—where throughout the following years, I would stick to being the one who had his own style and original aesthetic. By loving and going along with my style, we both fueled my character, and I very rarely felt shy to hide being myself. I didn’t want to fit in, I wanted to be Chandler.
Although completely flattered by these evolving comments over time, I started to uncover the reasoning—that I started to become admirable when I stopped trying to be someone else. And most importantly, I’ve had the confidence to do so.
Why were others saying this, and what did I have in me to lead them to express this feeling?
With the social media comments, I never knew how to reply. Me? I would think. I’ve always tried to keep my head on my shoulders enough to accept these compliments and understand my worth, but the day I finally understood comments like this one was so rewarding.
There was one notion I truly understood at a very young age. In first grade, I remember telling my mom how much I wanted Vans to pair with my Adidas sweatpants, completely contrasting to the entire rest of my grades chosen outfits. I remember, growing up, her understanding of my drive for individuality, and how she would always try to give in to my drive to be unique. After purchasing the sweatpants for me, I wonder if she understood this would be a continuous pattern—where throughout the following years, I would stick to being the one who had his own style and original aesthetic. By loving and going along with my style, we both fueled my character, and I very rarely felt shy to hide being myself. I didn’t want to fit in, I wanted to be Chandler.
Although completely flattered by these evolving comments over time, I started to uncover the reasoning—that I started to become admirable when I stopped trying to be someone else. And most importantly, I’ve had the confidence to do so.
*Believe in yourself
Start understanding who you are as a person, and your ability to achieve anything. Look at your major accomplishments. For myself, I would look at my gymnastics awards and my love for art. Find something about yourself you know you do well in. Then, understand you have to ability to achieve what you want to achieve. Evolving confidence is so common in nearly everyone, and it’s a characteristic you will get.
*Develop a constant skin care routine
I take so much pride in my skincare routine, and it has built my confidence from the ground up. We all go through pitfalls with our skins appearance or skincare regimen, and ever since I’ve built mine, I have experienced the most rewarding effects. Try to develop a skincare routine which involves washing and exfoliating your face and applying moisturizer, and follow it every single morning and night. I know how hard it can sometimes to get up and wash your face instead of head right to sleep, but please love your skin enough to nourish it before bed. I make sure to do this every single night, and now it is such a routine that I would never even think to neglect it.
*Be kind to others
Smile! Smiling at others is my GO TO. If you know me, you know I’m constantly smiling, for both myself, and because I love seeing others happy. Straying away from eye contact and avoiding connections is a key factor to not being confident, and I can attest to this as I’ve definitely done this in my past. Start smiling at others, always, and if you don’t receive a smile back, continue to smile at others. Being able to accept unkind signals is a huge step to building your confidence.
*Become comfortable with being alone
Start loving alone time! While walking down the street to class, or even on your short walk into the coffee shop, rest your phone by your side and walk like you mean it. Take this time to realize everything you’ve accomplished during the day, heck—everything you’ve accomplished period! Be proud of yourself. And remember, if someone walks by, smile!
Fifth: Dress like you mean it!
If theres an outfit you’ve always wanted to wear but have been concerned because you don’t feel comfortable in it, start to wear the outfit. Part of becoming more confident is challenging yourself to take small steps to getting there. Put on the coat, and strut like you mean it. Realize that you can pull off anything, and can make anything a fashion statement. It’s very true that an attitude can change an entire outfit.
Sixth: At the end of the day, reflect on how successful you are as a person
While laying your head down at night, think of how your day went. Break down the times you excelled, by either working hard on a project or developing a new relationship. By reflecting on your success, you’ll be able to see the amount you’ve accomplished, and be able to smile once again before you doze off to sleep. When you wake up the following morning, realize how much you’ll be able to accomplish again, and the reassurance will over time make you more confident in your abilities.
Seventh: Begin expressing your emotions
You have a say in everything you do! Make sure to put your two cents into every situation, because lack of confidence can sometimes deter your ability to speak up. Tell people how you feel, and this will further develop your backbone, along with accentuate your basic rights as a human. And once again, becoming more confident involves receiving more interaction from others, so if someone is not agreeable or civil with you, that is okay. Try to understand your worth, and realize that if you ever experience any backlash, it’s mostly due to their own insecurities or unhappiness—also possibly, how unconfident they are.
Lastly: Love yourself
Start telling yourself you’re lucky to be you. it’s easy to look at others and wish you had their life, but start realizing you are able to inherit characteristics in your own unique way. If you wish you lived on the beach, realize you have the determination to work for what you want to get there someday. It is very important to learn your own uniqueness is so admirable, and you have the power to influence others in the way others influence you.
Take care, and remember these tips. If confidence is key, here is your key.
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