5 Categories of things you shouldn't worry about

Perhaps there are other reasons people worry? You tell me! Maslow preaches, and I reiterate…

Uncertainty is a genuine cause for worry.  (Huriata)

There are worries for things that should naturally occupy our minds, and failing those would only mean our true worries are being misplaced. So much is said about Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs that I’m going to go on ahead and say it also, because these things cannot be said enough.

According to Maslow, paraphrased to my understanding, the greatest need for a person is that of survival – our biological needs (such as food), from which our intense worries would stem from. Then there’s the Safety need (such as security) and the Love/ belongingness need (such as, well, love).

Following that is the Esteem need (such as dignity), and lastly, Self-actualization need (such as fulfilment). Objectively, five in total. His theory was borne out of a thorough study of the human nature in the early 90s, and over time it has been subjected to refinements for a broader scope. In a sense, our various worries can and should be enveloped in any of these need categories, otherwise, we are simply being not so mindful of our rights to worry.

Mostly, uncertainty is a genuine cause for worry, as we get anxious of the future, and then of past events catching up, and this is really ok. Not having a clear vision of the future can be nothing but torture, just like being oblivious to whether or not our powers of discretion in past activities would sneak up in our present. There are also worries that are fear rooted, and others that spring up from loss of self-control. But conceding to Maslow’s theory, when do you cross the boundaries of the ideal hierarchical needs to worry about, into impractical worries?

1.       Psychological needs: When, for the essentials, say food, we give ourselves the luxury of choice in satisfying this need, just because we can. The Thai restaurant 5000 miles away from our residents serve rich desserts, with upper class menu, so we save up fiercely to regularly have a treat at the restaurant, or others similar, even though we neither can afford it nor enjoy the time spent there.

2.       Safety needs:

Rather than worry for security as we always have, like securing our fences with barbed wires, we install multiple safes in our bedrooms to self-insure our valuables (usually just cash), or spend hundreds of thousands on the various security installations at once, which is really just a polite way of commonly walking around strapped with armor vests, pepper spray and also armed bodyguards. There’s this compound in my neighborhood that houses a Chevrolet which is wired up to register a fly’s approach to it with a sensor that alerts the owner (and everyone else) as though a fire alarm. Worry will make us lose our sanity eventually.

3.       Love/belongingness needs: We take this seriously, as should be the case. Only we take it too seriously. It’s true that loneliness is underrated, but as important as affection and intimacy are, they are still secondary needs and our happiness should lie on our purpose and drive. We shouldn’t  worry so much about social interactions that we think against discontinuing a toxic relationship for fear of being socially ostracized. Shouldn't our worries be dependent on what is ideal, and fruitful?

4.       Esteem needs: There’s such a thing as excessive expectation of validation from others for oneself. When you worry about being misunderstood so much so you disqualify the values that once helped you grow, simply because twitter had a way of painting it to seem wayward. That’s why skipping the right steps to moving forward wouldn’t seem absurd as long as you’re socially acceptable and not seen as a misfit.

5.       Self-actualization needs: While exploring the fundamentals of self-fulfillment and the strife to be a better person, you stray from the safe worry of sustenance, to the worry of unhealthy contentions and rivalry amongst others. Your worries are skewed into your competitions and struggles that you even forget to live. You gradually start to push away from your potentials, sadly.

So are your worries placed rightly?

Written by Oluchi Irobunda.