Poem: To the one I love

Not every romance has a happy ending.

Getting over your first love is never easy. Once it gets dragged out, everything gets more difficult, it seems as if you have to recreate everything you've known about yourself and the track your life was on. Here's my experience of getting over one the one constant in my life over the last six years.

We'd spent years trying to make things work. We'd gone back and forth with any and all factors that could determine our success as a couple: communication, distance, goals, our future.

I've spent six years of my life fighting for a love that I was convinced was the almighty. Countless hours have been spent wondering if being together was the right or wrong choice, only to find that neither of us really knew what the right decision was.

Let's take a step back and revisit how this all started: high school. It was my freshman year, his junior, and we had Spanish together. He was a football player, I was pretty much a nobody. It was my sophomore year that we officially began our journey as a couple and it was pure bliss. Everything about our relationship was easy. We didn't fight, we knew each other and each other's wants and needs like the back of our hands; to this day we still know when something is wrong.

But once things went wrong, they went wrong fast. He gave up. He decided he didn't see any reason left to try after a bump in the road and no matter what I tried to do, nothing was good enough to sustain the broken relationship we now faced. It went on like this for years. We'd be ready to be together again, then somebody wouldn't feel as committed or as ready.

The next 4 years would be spent repeatedly finding our way back to each other and the love we both longed for together. We consistently found a way back to each other and longed to fix our problems in order to somehow create this new form of us that would enable us to be happy together again.

We were wrong.

Four years later and we're no closer than we were in the beginning of our troubles. After six years of being in love and relying on each other, we're at an end. We had trial run after trial run that would only last a couple months at a time until finally things broke completely and there was nothing left to fight for despite the love we shared together. We knew we loved each other, but that a relationship at this point in our lives was highly unlikely to be successful, despite the fact that most days all we wanted was to be together.

There are no more late night calls seeking comfort and guidance in each other.

There are no more hour-long discussions about our future house and family.

There are no more "good morning beautiful" or "I love you" messages to wake up to.

Now, we move on as our own people. We rediscover ourselves and how we can be our own person without the other right there next to us, something I didn't picture myself doing after so long.

The purpose behind this is to show you that despite your past, you create your future. It doesn't matter if you've spent years in the same cycle. At any moment, you can take control and dictate how you want your life to go. It takes a huge amount of strength, but it's possible if you set your mind to it and it is what you truly want.

I've spent years chasing a dream that I thought would be my forever, but tomorrow's a new day.

A day for me to construct the rest of my life.