The age to get married

Everyone who heard was surprised that Anthony was about to get married. He was just a young man who graduated from the University about three years earlier.

He had worked for about one year and some months after his national youth service when he decided it was time for him to get married.

As he put things in motion for his wedding, people became more disturbed.

When he informed people that he was ready to pay the bride price, it was then they realized that it was no longer a joking matter. They tried to discourage him from every front. A family member told him ‘you do not know what you are doing. You are just a boy’.

A friend of his said something like this ‘old boy, marriage too big for your age o. Na only one month you take senior me o.

Remember say we be twenty three years old o. Your head correct so? Ground never level you wan start to dey carry wife and children for your back’?

But Anthony reminded him that he is not twenty three that he is approaching twenty four. Many asked why he was in such a great rush to settle down.

Tony reminded those who cared to listen that if they really cared to understand the meaning of the word ‘settle down’ they would not encourage him to start settling his marital life when he is thirty five years of age.

He felt that ‘settling down’ to start the foundation of a marriage and family life should be of great importance and speed to any highly disciplined young man who has a MEANS OF LIVELIHOOD.

At a point, it seemed the people in support of his early marriage were in the minority when compared with those who opposed it.

Tony went ahead and got married to his twentyone- year old girl. On their wedding day, they looked like two little children (before the African eyes) who were acting drama because of their slim nature.

They looked so youthful that some people thought that they can never have the emotional maturity to handle the pregnancy, child upbringing, family finance, in-law relationships that characterize marriages.

Someone felt that it was impossible for them at that age to have conflict resolution ability. Tony and Mabel’s marriage is as solid as a rock after seventeen years. They now have four children.

The oldest of whom is about to go to a University outside Nigeria.

By age forty six, Tony expects himself to be a grand-father because they have successfully passed on to their children the emotional qualities they need for an early marriage and the beauty of an early marriage.

It turned out that Anthony and Mabel’s marriage was by far better than the marriages of many people who were thirty years older than them in marriage. People should get married early when they are emotionally matured to do so.

Age is not the issue.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY is the key.